Pride (kibr)

In the lexicon kibr is greatness. In the jurists' terms it is a trait of the self by which a person sees himself above the one he looks down on ¹. In the Sunna it is refusing the truth out of arrogance and despising people, as in the report of Ibn Mas'ud that pride is rejecting the truth and despising people ¹.

Al-Raghib defines kibriya as rising above submission, which belongs to God alone; Abu Hilal al-'Askari takes it to mean power and rule ¹. 'Ujb is self-admiration, the delight in one's own qualities; it is not pride, though it leads to it. Al-Ghazali and Ibn al-Qayyim distinguish them: 'ujb needs no one else, while pride needs another person whom one looks down on ^{1 2}. Jabr is greatness joined with domination ².

All agree that pride is a major sin, as al-Dhahabi reports, and the hadith says no one with an atom's weight of pride will enter Paradise, which covers both little and much ^{2 3}. Pride that is needed, such as standing up to oppressors or enemies in war, is praised. Pride without need is a major sin when accompanied by the intention to be proud; without that intention, it is disliked if it marks out the proud and objectionable only in that sense ³. Wearing fine clothes without the intention of pride is no sin, and one who wears them to win hearts for good counsel may be rewarded ³.

The signs are many. They include lowering the face and turning it away in arrogance, which the Qur'an forbids in Surat Luqman, verse 18 ⁴. Strutting in walking is forbidden, as the Qur'an and the hadith of the man in a robe who was swallowed up by the earth show ⁴. Disdaining to sit with those of lower standing is a sign: the book recounts the unbelievers asking the Prophet ﷺ to send away the poor Companions, and the revelation of Surat al-An'am, verse 52 ^{4 8}. Refusing to greet or shake hands with someone of lower rank, and walking or riding with followers in tow out of pride, are also signs ⁸.

Wanting people to stand up for one is also a sign. Standing over a seated person is forbidden, and the hadith says whoever likes men to stand for him should take his seat in the Fire. Standing up when someone arrives is recommended for parents, a just ruler and the excellent, while the early Muslims did not do it for the Prophet because he disliked it ^{8 5}. Eating in a way that sets one apart is also a sign, such as taking the middle of the bread and leaving the edges, or eating white bread while feeding one's servants brown bread ⁸.

Reclining while eating out of pride is forbidden, and reclining for another reason is disputed, some disliking it as the custom of the proud ⁵. Wearing the skins of predatory animals out of pride is forbidden, and spreading them in reception rooms for display likewise, though using one as a prayer mat is allowed ⁵. Trailing one's robe below the ankles out of vanity is forbidden by agreement, and is allowed for need; most jurists dislike doing so without pride or need ⁵. The Hanafis dislike keeping a special cloth for wiping sweat when it is meant as a show of pride ⁵.

Ibn al-Qayyim holds that curing pride is an individual duty, and the cure has two stages. The first is to uproot it by knowing oneself: one began as dust and then a drop of fluid, and God gave one life, food and strength, so pride is fit only for God ^{5 6 7}. The second is to treat its causes: pride of lineage is answered by remembering that one's near ancestors were a foul drop and distant ones dust; pride of beauty by looking to the inside; pride of strength by remembering how a thorn or a gnat can defeat a person; pride of wealth by the thief who can take it in a moment; and pride of knowledge by the greater accountability and danger of the learned ^{6 7}.

The Sheikh says that pride keeps a person from accepting advice. He gives the example of a man who was told to eat with his right hand, refused, and claimed he could not; he sets against this the humility of Ibn Mas'ud when he was told to sit (needs_source). ^{9 10}

The Sheikh cites the hadith of the three whom God will not look at nor purify, among them the arrogant poor man (needs_source) ¹¹.

The Sheikh says that religion has no place for the I: in prayer we say we worship and we seek help, in the plural, even when praying alone ¹². He adds that even on rising from the bowing we say our Lord and not my Lord ¹².

He holds that the self is absent from religion even in prayer, that when the self appeared everything was lost, and that the Companions understood the religion because they folded the I into the we ¹³.

The Sheikh holds that a man who does not pray and a woman who does not wear the hijab are both arrogant towards God if they deny that this is required, unlike the sinner who admits his sin ¹⁴.

The Sheikh cites a saying that the arrogant person will not enter Paradise (needs_source: the wording of the saying) ¹⁵. He holds, as his own opinion, that pride in Arab ethnicity is vain, and that no Arab has any superiority over others except by piety ¹⁶. He offers popular proverbs about how fortune turns between people, and warns against a person being arrogant over what he has been given (needs_source) ¹⁷.

The Sheikh says that the more blessings a person receives, the more humble he should become, and he criticises those who boast of knowledge, wealth or position. ¹⁸ He lists among blessings that are unnoticed until they fail: breathing, digestion and the circulation of the blood. He says pride prevents gratitude, because a person credits his work to himself. ¹⁹ He cites a verse (sura not named) that God gave victory to those who were in a state of humility, and says that a sick person should be humble before God, since humility opens the door of answered prayer. ²⁰ He recounts the Qur'anic story (sura not named) of a man with two fruitful gardens who boasted of his wealth and status before his companion. ²¹ He tells of an ungrateful man who boasted of his wealth and entered his garden wronging himself. His grateful companion reminded him of God who created him, and by dawn the garden was ruined. ²²

The Sheikh says that young men boast of their fathers' positions, and that children scorn their parents' words as old-fashioned. He holds that these values do not change with time. ²³ He describes a rich youth and a poor youth who each boast of his father, and says that such pride is foolish. ²⁴ He criticises people who recount the wealth of their grandfathers and grieve over losing it, and says that one should not dwell on the past. ²⁵ He compares the rich man's boasting to the attitude of a wealthy uncle toward his orphaned nephews, and says that the man forgot that God gave him what he has. ²⁶ He says that a companion gave his sister in marriage to Bilal, and that Islam makes no distinction between people by lineage (needs_source: the event is not sourced in the recording). ²⁷

The Sheikh says that a husband whose standing rises greatly often forgets the wife who stood by him, and treats her with the pride of his clan. ²⁸

The Sheikh says that a person is weak, disturbed by a small insect or by sweat, so pride is foolish, since a person comes from earth and returns to it. ²⁹ He says that people share one origin, and that the proud person looks down on God's creation. ³⁰ He cites a hadith that all people descend from Adam. He recounts Umar ibn Abd al-Aziz's humility when a man addressed him, and says that humility raises a person in the eyes of others. ³¹ He cites a hadith in which the Prophet noted a trace of pride in a man, after asking him whether he thought himself better than others. ³² He cites a hadith that pride is among the qualities of God, and a hadith that no one with an atom's weight of pride enters Paradise. ³³ He cites a hadith that one who has an atom's weight of pride in his heart will not enter Paradise. ³⁴ He cites Qur'anic passages (no sura named) on praising the Lord of the worlds, worshipping Him and seeking help from Him, and concludes that no one should oppress others or be proud toward them. ³⁵ He cites a hadith that one with an atom's weight of pride will not enter Paradise, and describes the arrogant as one who thinks himself of a different kind. ³⁶

The Sheikh defines arrogance as despising others' opinions and believing oneself the cleverest and the best. ³⁷ He cites a hadith in which the Prophet told a worshipper that he saw a sign of pride in him, after asking whether he thought himself better than those around him. ³⁸ The Prophet had no fixed seat and sat where the gathering ended. A Bedouin visitor asked openly among the people which of them was Muhammad. ³⁹ He says that humility must be practised, not only spoken, and cites a saying of Shafi'i that he wished God would show the truth through the other person's tongue (needs_source: the saying is not sourced in the recording). ⁴⁰ He cites a saying of the righteous that it is better to sleep repentant than to rise at night in self-admiration (needs_source: the saying is not sourced in the recording). ⁴¹ He says that arrogance toward others is a serious flaw, even in people who call themselves Muslim. ⁴² He says that people hear only their own voices. He cites a figure from a survey on listening and speaking (needs_source: the figure is not sourced in the recording), and criticises the use of social media. ⁴³ He criticises the arrogant person who believes he is of a different substance and mind from other people. ⁴⁴ He lists among the sins of the heart envy, hatred, pride, showing off, feeling secure of God's plan, and despair of God's mercy. ⁴⁵ The speaker's view is that blameworthy joy is worldly joy linked to pride and boasting, and that it is not the same as a smile or happiness. ⁴⁶