Praying against oneself and one's children

The Sheikh counts praying against oneself and against one's children as a fault of the tongue, saying it is common among those whom life presses hard, and he singles out many women. ¹ He cites a hadith narrated by Muslim from Jabir forbidding prayers against oneself, one's children and one's wealth, lest the one praying coincide with an hour in which prayers are answered. ^{2 3}

He relates that al-Abbas asked the Prophet ﷺ to pray for his death because of his old age, and that the Prophet forbade wishing for death because of a harm that has befallen one, and taught whoever must pray to ask for life while life is good for him and death when death is good for him (needs_source: the attribution of the story to al-Abbas is the Sheikh's narration). ^{3 4 5}

He holds that a mother who prays against her son and is answered gains only grief and regret, and that a father weary of his household's demands, who prays never to return to them, would do better to ask God for blessing and contentment for his family. ^{6 7 8}

He relates that one of the Followers, told that someone was harming him and urged to pray against him, refused to add his own curse to the man's wrong against him. ^{9 10} He urges praying for guidance for the undutiful son, the rebellious daughter, the lazy pupil, the one who neglects prayer and the wrongdoing relative; he holds that a curse may make a wrongdoer worse, while his guidance may return the right to its owner, as with a brother who took his father's inheritance or a sister who took her mother's jewellery. ^{11 12 13} He mentions that the angel says to one who prays for his brother in his absence: and for you the like. ¹⁴

He cites the verse on repelling evil with what is better in Surat Fussilat, and holds that Satan's prompting is mentioned after it because it is Satan who keeps a person from repelling evil with what is better. ^{15 16 17}

He criticises the words of cursing and imprecation he hears in the dialects of many Muslim countries, and says a curse rises and then returns upon the one who uttered it if the person cursed does not deserve it; this is his view, in an exhortation. ^{18 19 20} See: cursing.

Abd al-Rahman Mansour counts praying against one's children as the second of "the ten destroyers" of upbringing in his programme 'Ahalina', and tells a father never to do it, whatever the child has done, even a grave sin. ²¹ He cites the story of the man who killed a hundred people, which he says is in the two Sahihs: he asked a scholar whether he could repent, was directed to a land where God was worshipped, died on the way, the angels of mercy and of punishment disputed over him, the distance between the two lands was measured, he was found nearer the land of mercy and was forgiven. ^{21 22 23} He concludes that there is good in a sinner's heart, and so in a child's, whatever he does. ²³ Praying against a child, he says, wrecks him and makes him undutiful, especially when he hears his mother praying against him in the dark of night. ²³

He recalls the Prophet's prohibition of praying against one's children, oneself and one's property, lest it fall in an hour when prayers are answered. ²⁴ He tells of a mother who prayed that her son would go and never come back; he left for university, was pushed on a railway platform and came home injured, which he presents as the result of her prayer (needs_source: a story the speaker tells, with no independent source). ^{25 26} Instead he advises praying for a child's guidance, and in the episode on adolescence counts the parents' prayer for a child's good as something that encourages him to pray. ^{26 27}