The order that the three keep apart from their wives
الأمر باعتزال نساء الثلاثة
October 630 CE · Rajab 9 AH
When forty nights had passed, the Prophet's messenger came to Ka'b ordering him to stay apart from his wife and not approach her, and the same was sent to his two companions. Ka'b sent his wife to her family, while Hilal ibn Umayya's wife was allowed to serve him without him approaching her.
At a glance
- Era
- The Prophetic Era
- Region
- Arabia
- Review
- Draft Completeness 1/5 · Help complete it
In time
In space
Map: Natural Earth, public domain · places and route from the graph
Summary
Forty nights of the boycott passed, then the Prophet's messenger came to Ka'b ordering him to keep apart from his wife; he sent her to her family until God would decide, while Hilal's wife was given leave to serve him. 1
The order
Ka'b said: when forty of the fifty nights had passed, a messenger of the Messenger of God came to me and said: the Messenger of God orders you to keep apart from your wife. I said: divorce her or what? He said: no — keep apart from her and do not go near her; and he sent the like to my two companions. 1
Ka'b's answer
He said to his wife: go to your family and stay with them until God decides this matter as He will decide. 1
Hilal's wife
Hilal ibn Umayya's wife came to the Prophet and said that Hilal was an old, helpless man with no servant — would he dislike her serving him? He said: no — but he is not to come near you. She said he had no stirrings toward her and had not stopped weeping since his affair began, and she feared for his sight. 1
Ka'b's position
Some of his family said to him: if only you had asked the Messenger of God's leave for your wife, as Hilal's wife was given leave. He said he would not ask his leave for her — that he was a young man who did not know what he might say. Then they endured ten more nights, completing fifty since the Prophet forbade the Muslims to speak to them. 1
Source notes and markers of doubt
- The text names neither the messenger who carried the order nor Ka'b's and Hilal's wives.
- Hilal ibn Umayya's description of himself as aged is spoken through his wife (p. 179).
Connections
- Had participant
- Hilal ibn Umayya al-WaqifiMuhammadKa'b ibn Malik al-AnsariMurara ibn al-Rabi al-Amri
- Occurred at
- Medina
- Part of
- The three who were left behind after Tabuk
People and things also explored
The fifty-night boycott of the threeThe acceptance of the repentance of the threeThe three who were left behind after TabukKa'b offers his wealth and vows to speak only the truthKa'b tells the Prophet the truthThe expedition to TabukThe letter of the king of Ghassan to Ka'b ibn MalikKa'b and Abu Qatada at the garden wall
Sources
- al-Sira al-Nabawiyya — Ibn Hisham, al-Saqqa edition (1355/1936), 4/179
Cite this page
islam.museum contributors. “The order that the three keep apart from their wives”. islam.museum, https://islam.museum/en/event/order-to-the-three-to-separate-from-their-wives/. CC BY-SA 4.0. Accessed 2026-10-12.